It’s been a year since the Bachelor and I ended our situationship, and the process of moving on has been far from smooth. I went through so many stages; anger, sadness, relief, nostalgia, back to anger, and eventually acceptance. But even as time passed, I felt something was missing.
Despite everything that happened, I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Even after the hurt, I felt guilt over my actions, especially when I let my anger take over and posted about him in a social media group, calling him a red flag. Was he a red flag? Probably. But in hindsight, I ignored the struggles he might have been dealing with and let my frustration take control. How could I say I cared for someone and yet hurt him that way?
Taking Responsibility
After reflecting for a long time, I realized I couldn’t move forward without taking responsibility for my actions. I decided to apologize, not because I expected anything from him, but because I needed to own my mistakes.
I wrote him a long message. I was completely honest, admitting I had been wrong and apologizing for how I treated him. It was hard to hit “send” and put myself in such a vulnerable position, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
I didn’t think he would reply. If he did, I was prepared for anger or silence. To my surprise, his response was kind. He accepted my apology, and while it didn’t erase what had happened, it felt like the weight I’d been carrying had finally been lifted.
Moving On
That moment of closure helped me move on in a healthier way. The Bachelor taught me a lot about relationships, and not all of it was bad. Thanks to that experience, I’ve learned how to date differently. I’ve set boundaries for myself, and I stick to them. I don’t let impulsive feelings cloud my judgment or let attraction override my principles.
This change has been empowering. I’ve been able to spot red flags early, recognize when someone has low self-esteem or narcissistic tendencies, and make decisions that are better for me. It feels like a weight has been lifted. I’m no longer stumbling through dating but walking in with clarity and confidence.
A Lesson in Growth
Looking back, I don’t regret the Bachelor. Our story may have ended, but it pushed me to grow. It taught me to value my boundaries and learn from my mistakes. While I won’t romanticize the experience, I’m grateful for the lessons it taught me and the better choices I make now.
Sometimes I joke that I should switch careers to psychology because of how much I’ve learned about emotional patterns. But the truth is, this journey has helped me become stronger and wiser, and that’s more than I ever expected.
